Thursday, May 25, 2006

The Second Critique -- Jay

NOTE: At the bottom of this post is a clue to our third dePaola Code...to be deciphered very soon!


I love my fellow Disco Mermaids. They’re always trying to outdo each other; trying to get their name mentioned first in the acknowledgements. Robin read all 249 pages of my manuscript in just two days…so, of course, Eve had to read it in one.

I wasn’t quite as nervous going into this critique because Robin helped improve my manuscript so much with her critique (especially the ending). But I was worried the story wouldn’t get the same emotional response from Eve since she was well aware that it made Robin cry. When you expect tears, they’re always harder to produce. But she did cry! And I am so flippin’ happy, once again!

The scene that made them both cry was interesting to edit. There were a few things that needed tweaking early on in the chapter, based on Robin’s critique. The hard part was figuring out how to tweak it without taking away the tension. Since I've been working on this manuscript (off and on) for three years, it's so hard to feel where the suspense is coming from anymore.

So now my wife has the manuscript, which is both good and bad. It’s good because she’s out of town till Saturday, and that means I have at least three free days before I'll start editing again (compared to Robin’s two days and Eve’s one). But it’s bad because it hurts so much more when my wife finds something wrong with my manuscripts. In my dreams, she’s taken aback by my writing prowess and says things like, “It’s flawless. Don’t change a single word. You impressed me so much. And guess what, honey? It even made me cry.”

- Jay


CLUE: The fertility of...Strega Nona!!!

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